Camila Esquivel

I feel weary, worn, and sad,
but I know these days will pass.
Still, my aching heart contracts
when my thoughts return at last.

I don't know how to contain it,
or if I should even try;
for the waters held in silence
break the dam and rush on by.

Life and heaven, love and sorrow,
all are beautiful somehow.
Only time can soothe the wolf
that I carry with me now,
who at night begins to howl
from the depths within my chest,
crying out beneath the darkness,
longing for a little rest.

Sleep, my wolf, but don't be silent;
let your cries be heard tonight.
There is comfort in the dreaming,
there is peace beyond the night.

Cry, and think of all you're given,
of the dreams you hold so dear:
love and family, joy and laughter…
All are yours. They're truly here.

Sadness, come, I'll hold you near.
Anguish, you may linger here.
I can no longer cast you out
without a wound, without a tear.

I must seek some new companions:
Gratitude and Love and Faith,
and together kindle fire
to give courage to this pain.

Let us sing and let us gather,
let us celebrate as one.
Why deny the hearts within me?
They are mine, each single one.

Be my Simons of Cyrene,
hold me steady when I fall.
Come, I beg you, don't forsake me.
Hope, come join us, one and all.

Let whatever comes, come near!

Holy Mother, Saint Joseph dear,
do not leave me lost in fear.
Be my rock when shadows fall.
Amen. Remain through it all.

And what is it the mirror shows?
I cannot say. I do not know.

I see my parents and my siblings;
my friends, the future yet to grow.

I see my mother's boundless love,
her tenderness I cannot see:

“You have so much, you are worth so much,
if only you could see what I see.”

But how can I believe those words,
when I'm a reflection of their light?

I am not the one they cherish,
not the one they hold in sight.

I have not earned such admiration.
Have I deserved it? Can it be?

Am I still the girl who dreamed
of stars and all that life could be,

of new beginnings, bright ambitions,
hope and verses yet to write?

Why can't I recognize that woman?
Look within. She's out of sight.

Pay it no mind.
Stand your ground. Lift up your chest.

Though you feel you cannot do it,
don't turn back.

Cast your ropes aside. Fly higher.
From above, the world grows small:

all the details, all the barriers,
and the fears that seemed so tall.

The horizon stretches endless;
let the weight fall far below.

From the heights, that mirrored image
holds no power over your soul.

For the sun shines on your forehead,

and you are light the universe knows.